June 17, 2015–Day 1
Dear Home. I Love you. Sooooooooo Much! And I’m surprisingly fine. Today was good. It only took me about 15 minutes to stop crying, so I’d say it was a fairly successful MTC arrival.
While it’s on my mind, I’d first like to say that, Mom, I am so sorry I didn’t clean more as a child. You deserve the best and I certainly wasn’t it. None of us were it. But you love us anyway and that is a seriously hard core miracle.
So far I’m still feeling pretty inadequate–I’m hoping it’ll go away, but you know me, I’m much too realistic to believe that will happen. I think my feelings of inadequacy mostly stem from a lack of confidence in my ability to form coherent thoughts and have worthwhile things to say. Every once in a while though I have moments of wisdom. Pretty often. kind of. But I just stay silent until someone else finally gets around to saying what’s already been in my mind….all right, well, I shouldn’t say how often it happens at all since I’ve only been here for about 10 hours. It seems like ages by the way.
Dinner was at 4:15 today. What the?!!! And, you’ll be proud to know I Did Not have any icecream! Even though it’s a special Wednesday thing. Also, my companion Sis McNeely is great. She’s even going to run with me! She’s going to Richmond Virginia.
So I don’t have P-day until Thursday. Ugh. Until then, Pray for me! I need all the help I can get. This is a lot of mormon stuff for me to handle, so we’ll see how it goes. I Love you guys, be happy, and give the animals my hugs 🙂
June 19, 2015–Day 3
Quick moment here… There are doppelgangers in my district! Serious doppelgangers. Really.
- Elder Clare looks like a slightly more meaty Finnick Odair (Sam Claflin) They’re practically identical!
- Elder Rumsey looks like a baby baby Booth (from the ‘Bones’ series). No joke. They could be twins.
June 20, 2015–Day 4
Family. It’s fun, but I’m struggling, too. You know, with the same stuff I always do! Sister McNeely is the sweetest. She’s well versed in the gospel and articulates herself well. She also feels the spirit. ALL the TIME. Who knows what’s wrong with me. I swear I’m trying! Maybe I’m a sociopath or something and that’s why I can’t pick up on it. JK. kind of. On the up side, I’m praying more than ever! Also, make sure you save all of these letters because they either supplement or replace my journal. Last time they supplemented; today they’re replacing. If you want to post anything to the blog, I’m open to it.
June 21, 2015–Day 5
Mom, and the rest of you, so there’s a second letter. It’s kind of depressing, but don’t let it freak you out! We all have ups and downs. The MTC is the same way and last night was a low. I am learning. I am progressing. I’m kind of just feeling like maybe this is sort of like my AP Calculus class senior year. Hopefully my learning (no matter how slow and slight it seems) is the kind that lasts.
For now I’m just going to focus on learning for others. I can’t worry about what I feel isn’t happening. Instead I’ll focus on preparing myself for the people I hope have been prepared for me. I love you so so so so so so so much! Thanks a billion to all of you for putting up with my occasional psychoticness. It’s one of the only reasons I’m still sane.
So….. I pretty much eat cantelope, honey dew, and pineapple at every meal. It’s nice. I’ve been eating pretty healthy. Most days we have a salad either for lunch or dinner and something else for the other meal. Also, I haven’t even touched the cereal! I said no to icecream today. I did have a slice of apple pie though. Sister McNeely is super observant and super sweet. She made sure to find me a small slice 🙂 I ate another piece of shrimp, and I did it without all of the lengthy preshow, believe it or not. It wasn’t bad, but I didn’t eat more than the one piece…..baby steps.
June 22, 2015–Day 6
Family, I swear I’m doing more here at the MTC than just writing you! We just have a few minutes.
One of the elders in our district is going home today. We’re not sure why, but the whole district (all 9 of us that are left) are struggling a bit. I really liked him. He was really personable and I think that of all the elders he was the one who I felt genuinely liked me the most. It’s going to be really different without him. And I feel super bad for Elder Matson, his companion. Elder Matson is great! he’s from Leadore Idaho and he’s like. . .Opie. Or Bubba. Or someone. He’s not slow, AT ALL. Just the way he talks, ALL IDAHO. Also Elder Rumsey (baby booth) is from Rigby. We represent Idaho pretty well, I’d say.
Anyway, I love my companion a lot. Today we had the last 1/2 hour of class dedicated to dealing with stress and trial on the mission (due to one of us leaving), and then we split off to different rooms for some companionship inventory. It was good. I told her all about my struggle to recognize the spirit as she does, and she gave me the sweetest comfort. While my spiritual radar is still very lacking in sensitivity, she did help me realize that I have a purpose, and my experiences, while not too common, are going to be what someone else needs. So for now, I’ll just keep on relying on the massive bank of faith that by some miracle got me here, because where ever that power and strength came from, I don’t know. But I do know that I wouldn’t be even remotely functional right now if it weren’t for some big changes and significant influence that I’ve had in my life recently. And although I may feel neglected at times (most times) I believe He is helping me. You guys know I wouldn’t be able to do this any other way.
Love you 🙂 I hope you are happy and doing well. Give the animals some ‘torture’ for me, will ya?
P.S. We’re not allowed to high-five in our district. What, too romantic? WEIRD. But it does make for some pretty great makeshift “good jobs” and “way-to-go’s” and other celebratory expressions.
Aubrey spent her entire senior year thinking she was not “getting” it in AP Calculus. She was constantly seeking to understand. She thought that the other students knew more or at least they gave that impression. After the test results came back the following July, she scored a 5 while many in her class did not. Sometimes she doesn’t know that she knows. She’s spent the last 2 years at Boise State studying English/writing, and if you read her words aloud you will feel she is standing in the room talking to you. She describes herself as a high functioning crier which her dad will attest to. Skiing, snow boarding, skate boarding, wake boarding the list is long but she picks things up quickly and is pleasant the entire time while crying. She’s a joy to be around and we’re glad you’ve joined us to witness her journey to Hawaii. Her mission president sent her a letter stating that “Aloha” in the ancient Hawaiian language means “God in us.” This is very fitting since Aubrey will tell you she hates saying goodbye, and so now she won’t have to anymore.