11 July 2016
Out on the roof again for 4th of July. I miss being where the fireworks are. Funny, I swear Independence Day was one of the quietest nights I’ve heard here in Kaneohe. So different here!
Tuesday was an “I want to do this for the rest of my life” kind of day. Perhaps a 2nd full-time mission? I hear it’s possible for the sisters. Don’t worry though. Any time I see a picture of home I think heck no, because as awesome as a mission is, it’s still rough to be away from the people I love. Distance has made the heart grow fonder. But one time is plenty enough for now.
Wednesday we had a return appointment with the sweetest old Aunty. She is somewhere in her 80’s, but she doesn’t have the same luck of our family. The Word of Wisdom is so real. Anyway, Such a funny visit! Hoi, I think she was talking about us, TO us. She said that we looked like the girls who’d stopped by earlier. I thought she meant earlier in the week, but then she told us no: around noontime. JWs? We managed still to get inside the door for a short chat a very repetitive one. Shoots, it was like talking to the sweetest and cutest of gold fish! To be completely to the point, I felt that our trying was a lost cause, a wasted effort, but since we were there, we might as well make something of it. Then I don’t know what changed, I guess perhaps the spirit spoke, but one second later I was repenting of my thought and feeling because in my mind I’d seen her ancestors: Waiting in the spirit world, rooting for us and for her. People who dearly dearly love her and now already have the truth before their eyes. Those who want her to have the blessings now, too, and not only later. The thought at first was quick and quiet and easily I could have moved on from it, in fact I started to, but I grabbed it then and I let it sit in side me and I felt it. Charity.
That’s not to say I haven’t felt charity before, because I do, daily. But of course there are moments when I’m not as open, the situation isn’t as conducive, or the people aren’t as obviously lovable and it requires a more concerted effort.
Still it is a necessary and worthwhile effort, because no one’s family should be a lost cause. I love the perspective offered by this Gospel because it makes literally everything infinitely more meaningful.
I think of it now and I remember so clearly my interview with the branch President’s counselor in the MTC. Crazy it’s over a year ago now. He read this to me :
Doctrine & Covenants 84:88 I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.
He asked me, “Who are those angels?” People who love us, people we did love, do now love, and will love in the future. Whatever the case, He is always with us, the angels are always with us, so badly wanting to bear us up, And sometimes they do, without us even knowing. But I feel the truest power comes from believing and knowing that they are there–Aunty Betty’s ancestors and future posterity, praying from the other sides. Mine, too. My progenitors and my posterity, hoping with faith that I do good, do right, and do righteously. Being aware is a power that I so dearly want to develop in me. Thinking on these kinds of things not only once in a while, but always, so that I can please those I may not even know yet, but love more than all.
Speaking of love, I’ve succeeded! I officially effortlessly mentally referred to Kaneohe people as MY people this week. Just in time for transfers, too… We’ll find out the news on Saturday. I had a dream that I went back to Waipahu. That’d be chill.
Anyway, I’m still plenty imperfect, and there are many things I must learn and relearn every day, but I know I’m a better person for the experiences I am having. Please stay righteous, and then become more righteous. The goal: not to have any fear when it comes to the Second Coming and Millennium. 😉
Love you and miss you,
P.S. I found the answer, by the way. Of the calamities surrounding the Second Coming the prophet Joseph Smith said:
“It is a false idea that the Saints will escape all the judgments, whilst the wicked suffer; for all flesh is subject to suffer, and ‘the righteous shall hardly escape’; still many of the Saints will escape, for the just shall live by faith; yet many of the righteous shall fall a prey to disease, to pestilence, etc., by reason of the weakness of the flesh, and yet be saved in the Kingdom of God.”
Great discussion to come from that statement, yeah?!
If I could study all day and not feel guilty, I just might actually do it. So cool.