23 August 2016

Dear Mom,

I really need to master the *unblogging thing. Maybe in another phase of life.

If I had to choose just one game to depict the past days? Dominoes.

God is cool.

Now, not all of it was a fun game of dominoes, but there simply is no denying in my heart that God has the most intricate of strategies rolling in every direction you know and then infinitely more, too.

For weeks I have been feeling to tract Pololei. Finally we did. One of the families was of the Baha’i faith. They believe in the Book of Mormon and that Joseph Smith was a prophet in one way or another, super interesting, I’d highly recommend googling it when you need to procrastinate or occupy a little time. Of course I really enjoyed the visit because I learned a lot of cool stuff, but they were not much in the market for what we were offering, so in the end I left wondering in my heart if there was any real reason we’d needed to be there on that street.

Then Wednesday we went to visit our favorite potential investigator, Jennifer, only to find out SHE USED TO BE OF THE BAHA’I FAITH. I’m leaving out giant chunks of really amazing stuff, but like it says in the last half of Mosiah 4:20, sometimes the gravity and brilliance of our experiences are so great that we cannot give utterance. <—My life defined.

I’ll write the bigger set of dominoes in a letter. I think it might be best drawn out. Yes, it is that cool.

In a nutshell, this week (as they all are) was full. I can feel the fatigue that has been compounding over the last 14 months, and especially the last 3 since giving up my 1/3-of-lunch-hour nap. Of course it has been worth it, and I know God has blessed my companions and me for that sacrifice, but not all of those blessings come in the form of physical energy. No worries, because even though sometimes I have to think myself through it, always I come back to the conclusion that there are better blessings to have. Then, since I’m still very much imperfect, my half buried natural man tacks on at the end, “But I’m just tired.”

Something I have come to understand since being here is that the atonement is infinitely further reaching than I thought I already knew (a realization I hope to continually have through the coming years), and one beautifully excruciating truth I have accepted is that Christ felt a whole bunch of tiredness when he suffered for us in the Garden. Probably more than anything else, He was exhausted. Emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and physically. That, to me, is the part that is most difficult to comprehend. Between all of us, that is a great tiredness to bear. He really loves us, yeah?

And I love you, too,


p.s. President Tevita Takitaki served with Brandon. That was a fun connection to make! Tell Elder Noble that President Takitaki told me to say Aloha. 😉



*Editor’s note–Aubrey asked what an unblogger was. This was taken from,”The Art of Unblogging,” by Trina Holden.

An Unblogger is someone who embraces time between posts, because waiting is part of the art of writing, and silence will make our words louder. Let me explain:

When I want to write a letter to a dear friend, I have two options. One, I can brain dump whatever’s on my mind at the moment, knowing my friend loves me enough that she’ll accept whatever words I have time to write. Or, I can plan for a few days in advance of sitting down to write, collecting anecdotes and quotes, jotting down highlights and “P.S.” material in my journal as I whisk by. When I sit down to write and I have prepared, I bring variety and depth to the letter, not simply whatever thoughts and emotions I have in the moment.

A writer, more than any other artist, is a collector, able to defy time and space and bring together beauty from different days, even different centuries, to present both the question and the conclusion in the same breath, the illness and the remedy, the ugly and the beautiful. No other medium fosters such a juxtaposition of content, delivering the recipient so much dimension in a single moment.

Brain dumps have their place, but a truly memorable epistle involves some time.


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