12 December 2016
Not going to write much today. I’d rather just talk, that’s why.
They sang Aloha ‘Oe to me in Makawao ward sacrament meeting. I didn’t cry. I think because (other than I can’t sleep at night for stress) I don’t feel like I’m leaving. Today sister Page asked me at lunch, “Do you want to go home?”
Not in a mean way at all. She asked because I asked Brother Page if he could set up a date for us to have dinner with a certain family in the ward. A dinner that I won’t be there to attend. It’s so odd to be planning for things that I won’t be able to see through in person. Meeting people and teaching people whom I won’t be able to see through in person. It’s painful. And the rough part is I don’t think I will realize exactly how painful until a few days past my expiration.
I am so grateful to be a missionary. I am so incredibly humbled to know that I have been hands with which God has touched hearts and changed lives. Most remaining unbeknownst to me throughout the rest of mortality. But I know he didn’t send me here for nothing, and I trust, hoping in the surest sense, that I have been able to make a difference for someone in a way that no one else could.
A verse that touched me this week at MLC on O’ahu:
1 Corinthians 3:6 I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.
So much aloha,
[for one last time], Sister Carlsen