then and now

Having recently returned from the spiritual high that was Hawaii, I have done a lot of reflecting lately on who I was before compared to who I am now.

I spent much of my Christmas break preparing to start my new life, by getting rid of the things from the old, pre-mission one that I don’t need any longer. You can bet I came across a lot of embarrassing stuff, [and that’s not even including the early days of my blog. Thanks to technology, those will forever remain imprinted on the internet.]

As I flipped through random middle school time-period notebooks I was cringe-worthily reminded of the days when I was still naïve enough to secretly want for my future significant other to love me, just a little more than he loved God.

[Gotta love those lists we all made in beehives class, am I right?]

way back in the beehive-ish era

Pretty gag worthy on my part. Funny thing though, back then I really felt that. Greatest thing, though: I definitely do not feel that any longer.

Even though it was days ago that I busied myself sifting through my things, it wasn’t until this morning as I sat on the floor of my room, reading the stories of Lehi and his family that I connected all dots to my own life.

In 1 Nephi 5 we hear of the anxious agony of a Mother, Sariah, as she awaits the return of her four [younger than we often realize] sons with the brass plates. I totally empathize with her. Her doubt and skepticism towards the Lord and towards her husband, Lehi, for his unwavering faith, is as an imperfect, mortal being, completely understandable to me. We’ve all been there in some fashion or another.

Then at the same time I ardently admire the sureness of the equally loving and worried father who certainly must have had thoughts just as Sariah did, continually reaching out to his sons and their task. But more wisely, he had prayers that reached up to the Lord whom he loved and trusted more than any other thing or person throughout all time.

Here we find the testimony of Lehi’s faith and love for the Lord spoken clearly,

“But behold, I have obtained a land of promise, in the which things I do rejoice; yea, and I know that the Lord will deliver my sons out of the hands of Laban, and bring them down again unto us in the wilderness.”

[1 nephi 5:5]

I know that loving the Lord the most of all is the greatest bit of wisdom we can exercise, because in loving the Lord we find greater charity and blessings still, for those to whom we have been sent to love here in this life. And the miracle about it is that our unshakableness has power to assure those we love in times of uncertainty, as well:

“And after this manner of language did my father, Lehi, comfort my mother.”

[1 nephi 5:6]

Praying we all may retain wisdom enough to always be at the level of Lehi.

Aloha, Aubrey


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